I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
