its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
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Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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