It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
