i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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