I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
