we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
