Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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