I am spending my child support on dildos
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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