u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
