I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
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If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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