Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize