It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
