RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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