I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
