One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
