remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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