Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
