So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
