Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Your penis caused this!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
