Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
