it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
