left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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