How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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