You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
