I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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