Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
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I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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