In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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