I showed him my bush... on skype.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize