Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
