I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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