I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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