We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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