You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
