as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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