it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
