Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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