The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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