you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
