I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
