Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize