look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
