Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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