sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
