apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
