I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
