i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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