i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I seem to have left my pride at pride
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
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The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
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I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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