Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
one two three fourrrrnication!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
