If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
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the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
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Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize