bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I need water and some morals
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
