His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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