I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
