It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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