im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
