We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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