I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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