I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
