I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
