i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I accidentally burped into my bong.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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