I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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