I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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