Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Dick very happy bro
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
