Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
