we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
