They should really pass out barf bags in church
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
