I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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