i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
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He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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