i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
