I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
